Shame. This is a common theme for infertility sufferers. When we are fearful of what others will think, we obviously don’t share the pain we are going through. But, infertility is a disease, and it is NOT YOUR FAULT and shame is not something you deserve to be feeling. There is isolation in silence that creates so many “shoulds” in our worried brains. Such as: “I should be able to have a baby.” And “Whys” as in “Why is it so hard for me when it seems so easy for other women?” Those “Whys” and especially the “shoulds” create the shame of something being wrong with us, or worse “what did I do to deserve this?”
There was a study done by a fertility medication company (Merck) that revealed that 61% of women and couples don’t share their infertility struggles with their family and friends. Since we know that that 1 in 8 couples will experience infertility that is a LOT of silence and pain going on. No wonder most of us are shocked that we can’t conceive quickly “just like everyone else”. Don’t even get me started about all the celebrity stories we hear, of women having babies well into their 40’s, with no mention of medical treatments. I know there is a huge part of those stories missing. We’re just left seeing the “happy endings” and again wondering why it isn’t happening for us. I have so much respect for celebrities that have publicly shared their fertility struggles. It helps push the conversations that we all should be having into the public eye.
It’s not easy to reveal personal painful stories, but as I’ve stated in my mission if it makes one woman feel less alone than it’s a story worth telling. I’ve let go of any shame I once felt, and I encourage you to do the same. Sharing and letting yourself be vulnerable takes strength, and you should only feel pride, never shame about that. Of course there are some people that will never understand what you are going through, and it’s ok (and smart) to not go blasting your story to everyone, but finding those kindred spirits who can truly empathize and give support make sharing worth it.
Comments always welcome (we’re stronger together!)